Something good about why this blog should be read for complementary cancer care

Saturday, March 19, 2011

my last week in history

SAVE LITTLE OLIVER!  Bone Marrow Drive; Ashbrook hotel,  Hampton Beach. If you wish to get on the bone marrow list, go to any blood drive and check the box stating "I want to be a bone marrow donor.". The workers will take care of the rest.                             I haven't been writing recently. It suddenly became really hard mon, the start date  of bendamycin or bendamustine.  My mind was overwhelmed,Not blocked, but not working well I felt swollen and confused. I  rubbed my stomach and continued my business.  I did my ACS INterview regarding the 2 million dollar maximum and the affordable  care Act  as it effected me. I dressed up pretty. They even had a make up woman for me. Was I psyched or what?!  I was told I had good quotes and sound bytes, whatever that meant. I don't know the movie lingo, but thank goodness I could fake it because by Wednesday I was seeing double and plastered to my bed, my  tumors growing in my stomach.   God knows exactly what I needto do before my health takes over.                  Quickly I began to see double. I couldn't text.  I decided to go to bed! And I did. I did have a small temp., a cough.     Thank goodness I have the loving supportive husband I do, our life is not easy with my sickness and disabilities. He takes over when I am unable. I feel guilty not being able to due my share. He's done all the laundry from FL. I've tried to organizeN but he's keot x in a quesi-routine. Thank goodnessa for him. He's our rock.  On Thurs I had a life long (I'm talking since kindergarten 1st day). He took me to my labs and kidney ultra sound then to my appt when WHAMO the bad news I saw coming but he didn't came.  " You need a kidey stent" B's mouth dropped I nodded my head. I know. I was so swollen. I couldn't put my loosest jeans on. I could've used a stent weeks ago but I was insistent on joining the fam to go to disney. And I made it!!!! By the time I saw Anna I was beginning to talk nonsense. I was entering into my half world state where I am still part of this world, but I'm comfortably moving to the next, completely releaxed, just the ailments I came in with.   The stent was placed with no anesthsia! I was so confused and semi- conscious they didn't want to sedate me.  I did complain. I complained I had to pee when the catheter was moved through and that "it hurt" but nurse Scott held my hand.  There was always a person holding my hand. These people may have been the most important. They reminded me I was attached to this world and their was love here for me. Sometimes, the most important roles are the simpleist.  Eventually, when I was resting in my room I would see figures, blurred figures, like spirits. I do feel close to the spiritual world, but don't be afraid.